I hate holidays.

There used to be a time when I thought This Is It. I am so gonna get married real soon, have my cute little babies and then watch doraemon together.

I probably did something evil. No, many things evil because each evil thing then accumulate into my current karma. Ignoring the beggars in Jakarta? Being rude to the taxi driver in Vietnam? Switching on the TVs in hotel rooms when i sleep? Wasting water? gawdamnit. Chub must have been evil even without realising it.

I hate festive periods now. ok i dun hate hate it but i hate it. I hate it for the memories i am forced to think of. Of the past 6 years. Wherever you are, I do not hate u. U may or not read this, but I am comfortable enough to say I still love u. Maybe not anymore as what it was like. But i do.

I still do not know why u ran away like that. Are u sick? Please tell us. no korean melodrama. I will cry myself to death in future if u are ever sick and i ever do get to know about it. So if u are, then pls die alone. ok fine, get those good frens whom u are still responding to to be with u. Yes i know who they are.

If u arent, please do not let me run into you. I am a pretty siao kia - pun absolutely intended for pretty - and i may feel the urge to call u every now and then. I might actually do. I did fine so far in restraining. If u really do not respond when I do, then pls rem to hide from me. Forever.

I am mad at the one up there. I know god is fair. U give me my height, so i can have my brains. I aint exactly smart, which explains why i aint THAT short too. It cld be worse.

but what did i do that u need to balance out my fortunes by taking him away? Yeah i had it good at work, but i worked hard. U can see that right. I was never complacent. I appreciate my own good fortunes and even tot I am such a lucky bitch. U read that blog entry too right??

I have a happy family even tho i am still disgruntled every now and then for the average equal lengths of bodies, esp for the 2 who gave me my life. and my average length body. But isnt everyone SUPPOSED to deserve a happy family?

I have wonderful friends. not too many. just those few i can count and name right away. is that a lot? i dont think so!

everyone one says things happen for a reason. I know i know i really know.
AND i f-ing really wanna know what that reason is.

tmd. i hate holidays.