Holiday makes u feel like you've never felt before, think like you have not thought before.

And act out of your ordinary self.

This vacation is well-taken. 

And I will not have thought so if i hadnt bit the bullet and clicked on 'buy'. 

Alas, a vacation is a vacation. Chub needs to snap back to reality.

Come back Chub...

U.S.A

It's been more than a week since i'm here. NYC was merry-making. Boston is thought provoking. Helps tt I'm gonna be here for a few more days..

A lot of you may ask many whys. Why I didnt have any itinerary for the trip. Why I didnt even know where I'm gonna stay. Why I missed many a great tourist spots. Why I've chosen to stay in on a wonderful Saturday today.

Before I came, I've already convinced this is a trip about what I want to do. I walk when I wanna. I eat when I wanna. I sit when I wanna. I sleep when I wanna. 

There are too many plans in life that we do. We cant do without plans.

But there needs to be timeouts too. Some take the chocs. I take the real thing.

When you realised that for the most part of your essential years all that you've spent planning for equates to naught; when all that you think you are doing is for the greater good of the other is bullshit; when the person who mattered most didnt feel the same way about you apparently, then you need a break.

I had more hot chocolates this trip than water for the past 3 months. There were many occasions of sitting down in the cafe- Starbucks reign for the moment followed by Dunkin and Au Bon Pain - and reading my Time or Cecilia Ahern or just watching the world go by.

I wonder why the transition comes now. Is it a punishment or a test? 

Same line as whether the glass is half-full or half-empty.

It's almost rhetoric as noone can answer it quite as well as just being politically correct.

I am taking that pretty well now. I can look back. I can tell and retell without the urge to let my tears fall. It's just the closure. Either I'm not willing or I really dunno how.

Perceptions at work has changed too. There's a paradigm shift. I find myself struggling within to find it. what is it, i have no idea. I know i am happy in general. but what is the frigging it. 

Many hours spent pondering. walking, thinking. Sitting, thinking.

Walking around the Harvard campus yesterday did provide some well-intended inspiration. I feel motivated to return to school. but that is something that will not happen at least in '10. 

I digress.

Or did I?

Why?

It was 1-sided. It was forced.
At best, it was a pseudo conclusion.

Puzzle remains unsolved.

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