The announcement's out.
It's a different ball game.

Chub has nvr felt this way.
But Chub has always been lucky. The one up there loves her pretty much.

With the new year approaching, the resolutions are manifesting.

To achieving them.
To everyone.:)

The terrible things u do when u are not tt sober.
Ok not exactly terrible but the feeling of silliness when u sudden sober up n realise u've beeen silly. Damn, Chub is one idiot man. Weird thing is she sobers up after an hour of sleep.
Sian. Chub knows all bk well n safe tho. N can only just laugh at herself for being silly. Haha.thanks to all!

Antiques

Chub stared at her prized possessions and realised they are all falling apart.
There isnt a single new piece added too since a few months ago.
Whatever happened to Chub's favourite hobby.

pick it up Chub.

爱上姜汁撞奶

The above is random. Alone at home and made myself this drink PLS bought back from HK.
It's delicious. I love it.

But the house is quiet.
Pa's driving.
Ma n Pumpkin's in Kukup.
PBS' at her DnD.
PLS' at her friend's house.

Chub is alone at home and the house is quiet.

Chub cannot stand the quietness. Chub is constantly looking for something to fill the quietness. Even when alone, Chub talks to herself. Of course not out loud. Chub is not a looney la. Chub just thinks and ask and answer herself.

Thinking whether to take the car and go gallivanting.
But Chub hates to drive.

And there's still Proposal R that Chub needs to clear. And she just cleared Proposal A where she's been at for the past few hours. Working on weekends, so pathetic huh.

Zombieland was depressing. I left the theatre feeling offbeat.

I know there was humour. Lots of it.
I can see the gore. It was everywhere.

But imagine living in a world where u can't move ard freely. Where u have to kill to survive. Where ur loved ones are bitten to death. Worse - when they turn into zombies.

The response towards BM's death was esp sick.

Ok I know this is just a cheap flick meant to entertain.
But I really wasn't entertained.

A US study finds that the cleaner your childhood environment was, the higher the probability of one catching more viruses in adulthood.

Hmm.

-snt that what Ah Ma always stressed when we were young?

They shld have just saved the trouble and ask Ah Ma.

Chub is very tired.

GET WELLLL

I just wish to get well very very fast. I hate coughing non stop. I hate sniffing. My nose was so rubbed and sore it's undergoing exfoliation. Painfulll. I wanna return properly to work. So Chub has been a very good girl staying at home for the past two days. Doc says the chance of me getting new bac from others is higher than me passing them on. I'm sick of sleeping in the living room. I wanna get well laaaaa

小狗爱

嘟女又一番心血来潮，想来个如老太婆的缠脚布一样的长篇大论。
但，惯性庸懒之心，突发性3分钟热度 - 是。障。碍。
加上不停地咳咳咳， 都快咳死了- 非。常。障。碍。

姑且，就让我轻描淡写，蜻蜓点水，轻轻松松地带过。

疑惑。开心。
压抑。兴奋。
不明。不了。总觉莫名其妙。
突然，一言惊醒梦中人。感谢嘟女夫。

现有的，嘟女珍惜，疼惜，怜惜。
就，跟着感觉走。

音。乐。响。起 。

Chub is back to work.
Woohoo.

stopthinkingstopthinkingstopthinking.

Holiday makes u feel like you've never felt before, think like you have not thought before.

And act out of your ordinary self.

This vacation is well-taken. 

And I will not have thought so if i hadnt bit the bullet and clicked on 'buy'. 

Alas, a vacation is a vacation. Chub needs to snap back to reality.

Come back Chub...

U.S.A

It's been more than a week since i'm here. NYC was merry-making. Boston is thought provoking. Helps tt I'm gonna be here for a few more days..

A lot of you may ask many whys. Why I didnt have any itinerary for the trip. Why I didnt even know where I'm gonna stay. Why I missed many a great tourist spots. Why I've chosen to stay in on a wonderful Saturday today.

Before I came, I've already convinced this is a trip about what I want to do. I walk when I wanna. I eat when I wanna. I sit when I wanna. I sleep when I wanna. 

There are too many plans in life that we do. We cant do without plans.

But there needs to be timeouts too. Some take the chocs. I take the real thing.

When you realised that for the most part of your essential years all that you've spent planning for equates to naught; when all that you think you are doing is for the greater good of the other is bullshit; when the person who mattered most didnt feel the same way about you apparently, then you need a break.

I had more hot chocolates this trip than water for the past 3 months. There were many occasions of sitting down in the cafe- Starbucks reign for the moment followed by Dunkin and Au Bon Pain - and reading my Time or Cecilia Ahern or just watching the world go by.

I wonder why the transition comes now. Is it a punishment or a test? 

Same line as whether the glass is half-full or half-empty.

It's almost rhetoric as noone can answer it quite as well as just being politically correct.

I am taking that pretty well now. I can look back. I can tell and retell without the urge to let my tears fall. It's just the closure. Either I'm not willing or I really dunno how.

Perceptions at work has changed too. There's a paradigm shift. I find myself struggling within to find it. what is it, i have no idea. I know i am happy in general. but what is the frigging it. 

Many hours spent pondering. walking, thinking. Sitting, thinking.

Walking around the Harvard campus yesterday did provide some well-intended inspiration. I feel motivated to return to school. but that is something that will not happen at least in '10. 

I digress.

Or did I?

Why?

It was 1-sided. It was forced.
At best, it was a pseudo conclusion.

Puzzle remains unsolved.

大家说

你说
他说
老板说
我说。

好。我听。我听。

Life's a Mockery.

When It arranged for me to catch This Is It on Thursday.

一视同仁未必为佳

宁愿自私，偏心。
总好过无声无息。

就这样了吗？

Life's Cruelty

A big fat slap.

Colleagues really cannot be friends.
what doesnt matter doesnt hurt.
Chub needs to practise what she preaches.

Chub needs to wake up a bit more and stop being so emotional.

Investment. Not Expenditure.

5 years.
6 years.

In the Company.
And in The Company.

Not all investments yield a profit.
But all provide an experience.
And a lesson to be learnt.

The Other Side

Felt left behind? How about leaving behind?
Felt wronged? How about being righted your wrong?
Felt depressed? How about letting yourself down?

You must have been pushed to the end too.
You must have gone thru ur struggles too.
You must have also thought of the millions what-ifs, perhaps, maybes too.

You must have felt lonely. You must have felt you were wronged.

Thankful that at sunset, Chub's still able to recognise and empathize.
That Chub is no longer 17.
That Chub is no longer just Chub.

Chub loved, loves and will continue to love.

Waiting

Whether something is worth going or waiting for depends on your own set of values and priorities.

I will go for Waipo's birthday dinner certainly, over going for yoga.
Nothing much to think about here basically.

Even when I know it may be too long a break, I think it's worth it. At least according to my value system now and then. And my feelings.

I'll do it.